It’s hot

We all know that summertime in Texas is ridiculously hot. Also, we all know that a car sitting under the hot ball of gas that is our sun in ridiculously hot summertime is hot.

I’d seen this stunt happen last year during the heatwave, but there was some strange caveat that I honestly don’t even remember, that didn’t make it completely legit. I wanted to try it, and since my cookie recipe makes 54 cookies per batch, I had extra dough hanging out in the freezer waiting to be baked and delicious.

FYI, these suckers were completely frozen when I put them on the sheet. I only made a dozen because in case this crazy idea didn’t work, I didn’t want to ruin too many cookies.

I knew it’d take longer than the usual baking time. The one from last year left it in the car from 8-5 during their workday. I checked periodically about every 45 min to an hour, and I think the finishing time was around 5 hours long.

Thankfully this was the view from my driveway. I figured the best place to do it was at my own home so passersby didn’t think I was some nut who had absentmindedly remembered to bring the cookies, but leave my coffee in the oven. Nevermind that crack, that would be from the other extreme we get here [ice storms].

When the time came, they didn’t look finished to me because they’re usually larger. Then I reminded myself that I usually don’t bake cookies in my car.

I have to admit, they’re pretty tasty car cookies

It’s pretty awesome. I wasn’t expecting it to work but it did.

Now here’s my minor soapbox that I want to add to this:

We all know how hot an oven can get right? Right. I realize it took longer than the usual 30 minutes to bake those cookies, but my car still did it. If it can bake a cookie, do NOT leave unattended children in it. That means do not leave them in ovens and by all means in the ENTIRE WORLD do not leave your child in a car, no matter how “quick” you’re going to be. Every second counts, please be responsible. Leave pastries in there, not kiddos.

I’ve broken in to the pickle making business

Okay, maybe not.Maybethis is my first batch of pickles ever, but I count that as a success for the plain and simple fact that I’ve kept these plants growing and alive, and they’ve grown what and how they are supposed to. Poor Mrs. Angie, she’s been having to put up with my countless nonsensical questions about cucumbers, growing, picking and pickling since day one. She’s answered every question in stride, even if they sounded completely inappropriate. She gave me her recipe for her pickles, and I know they’re going to be tasty, because well, she made like eleventy billion jars just this past month of her own pickles. She also made them last year too, so this ain’t her first time around a pickle.

I filled the jars without a problem, because well, filling jars isn’t that bog of a deal. Next was the hard part.

I had to seal my jars. I had NEVER done such a thing, and honestly, had no idea what I was doing. Problem number one: I didn’t have a pot big enough that would, when filled, cover over the jars. Solution? Buy a bigger pot. It wasn’t just any pot, it was a crawfish/turkey frying pot. It’ll be used for other things, no worries. Problem number two: I didn’t really know how the whole sealing process was going to work. I had my jars in the pot of water, that never actually came to a rolling boil because there was too much water. I also didn’t really have it figured out how I was going to put these jars in and take them out of the boiling hot water. I had tongs, but they ended up not working out. Solution: Silicone oven gloves. They’re waterproof and can handle the heat. Checkmate.

I wasn’t sure about the whole “popping” thing a jar does when it seals. Was it going to be obvious? Was it going to be quick? Was it going to sound like a pistol just went off in my house? I had no idea. I also had no idea [and not all the faith in myself] that I would successfully get the jars to seal. Then what? I had pulled the jars out of the pot, and only NONE had sealed. That’s right none. I thought I had completely ruined my first ever batch of pickles. Travesty.

Mrs. Ang told me to be patient though [me, patient? HA] So I put them in a dark place as directed, and hoped for the best. I checked and rechecked them. One had sealed. The other two still hadn’t by the time I went to bed. But like a kid on Christmas day I bounded from my bed the next morning and the other two had FINALLY SEALED!!! All three are now sealed and pickling. When I realized it was going to take a minimum of a month to pickle though, I thought I would die. So here I wait, the next pickle genius, and I don’t even get to taste my awesomeness for another 4 weeks. Sad times.

I’d only picked what I thought would be considered a few. A few. Turns out, I picked enough for three, and have at least another 2-3 coming up in the next few weeks. Pickle season… here I come 🙂

Bacon

I may lose some of you over this, but I feel like it has to be said. People have taken bacon too far. That’s right, TOO FAR. Bacon has become the “popular kid” that people have rallied around. They mention it in the hopes of becoming cool themselves. The same goes for the moustache, but that’s on another day.

Bacon has gotten ridiculous. There’s bacon candles, bacon perfume, and bacon roses. Let’s be honest, if you’re trying to be sweet and romantic, and what that special someone really wants bacon, wasting time to roll it in a rose or heart is just unnecessary. They’ll die of a heart attack mid-bouqet anyways. Not to mention the constant push to outdo another with a bacon recipe. First it was the meat ship

Now there’s bacon turtles

Bacon cinnamon rolls

And bacon corn

Bacon toothpaste? Really, society?

Are we still curious as to why we’re the world’s fattest country? It reminds me of the craze that is the annual Texas State Fair. With the fair though it isn’t all about bacon, but instead, all about fried EVERYTHING. There’s a contest every year, really, about the best and most unusual fried things. We’ve had fried coke, fried snickers and twinkies, fried butter, fried beer, well here’s a good list of things:

2005 Most Creative         Viva Las Vegas Fried Ice   Cream

2005 Best Taste             Fried PB, Jelly and Banana   Sandwich

2006 Most Creative         Fried   Coke

2006 Best Taste             Fried Praline   Perfection

2007 Most Creative         Deep Fried   Latte   2007 Best Taste             Texas Fried Cookie   Dough

2008 Most Creative         Fried Banana   Split

2008 Best Taste             Chicken Fried   Bacon  <—– Again with the bacon?

2009 Most   Creative         Deep Fried Butter

2009 Best Taste               Fernie’s Deep Fried Peaches & Cream

2010 Most Creative         Fried Beer™

2010 Best Taste                  Texas Fried FRITOS® Pie

2011 Most Creative         Fried Bubblegum

2011 Best Taste                  Buffalo Chicken in a Flapjack

Fried things and bacon things MUST.STOP.NOW. The oversaturation of fried things and bacon’s rise in popularity has actually negatively affected my love for them, so for that I thank you. I would really *really* love to stop seeing bacon everywhere though. There’s no need for it to be in the periodic table [I must say though, for the most part I’m just jealous I can’t spell my name, but my point is still valid] and there is especially no reason for it in suit form. Please, let go of the bacon, you’ll still be part of the cool kids club, and we’ll allow you to sit at our table during lunch.

This Pinterest board has a good bit of it covered as well

Props to Natalie Dee. She gets me. THANK YOU