A runner’s PSA

Good evening folks, it is time for another one of my well thought out PSAs to the world. Today’s topic: running in public.

Now I know I can’t even manage to make it through the C25K program, but that doesn’t mean I ain’t freaking trying. I still consider myself a runner and even moreso, a public runner. I mean public as in I run outside at the local park. I like scenery; not nature, but scenery. Since I run in public, I make sure that I am dressed appropriately and acceptable for public. There are some, however, that need me to create a PSA to know what is acceptable and appropriate. This specific one is directed to males.

I may lose my “woman card” here, but guys, please don’t run without a shirt on.

You are not Ryan Gossling, you are not Channing Tatum, you are not even David Hasselhoff. I realize it is blazing hot in the Lone Star state, but you need to cover up. For reals. It is awkward as all get out for me to be running, listening to my awesome boyband music, and see you running towards me with your pecs/manboobs bouncing and staring me in the face. I am the queen of social awkwardness, and even I cannot out awkward this kind of situation. I have to dart my eyes in eleventy billion directions just to make sure I don’t make eye contact or nipple contact, and that is the last thing I need to be worried about while I’m wheezing through my last mile of my run.

What’s even worse is the guy that was just standing by his truck for 15+ minutes with his shirt off. He just stood there while I made my second pass of the 1.5 mile track. What was he doing? My first thought was that it was part of his mating ritual. Obviously it hadn’t worked since he was still alone during the second pass, and instead continued to awkwardly stand there by his truck.

So please, PLEASE keep a shirt on. For the sake of other scenery inspired runners out there, save our gag reflex a few involuntary spasms and just throw on an old college band tee. Keep your nipples out of sight and out of my mind.

Much gratitude,
EMP

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