A PSA for DWI suspects

Well hello everyone!

I went on another ride along two weeks ago sign me up for an intervention! and although we didn’t get any fun [a.k.a. bizzaro stories] arrest, my hot cop of a husband did and I figured I’d let you in on a little secret if you’re ever suspected of DWI or driving while intoxicated.

After watching a MythBusters episode where they tried to prove or bunk common techniques of sobering up [i.e. exercising, cold shower, coffee] and realized that none actually did the deed proving that if you drink, don’t drive. So here we go.
How to prove you’re sober, if you’re suspected to be DWI:

  • Pass all the SFST’s [Standard Field Sobriety Tests] – these include testing your ability to walk a straight line, balance on one foot and checking your eyes by following a pen.
  • Agree to a breath specimen – each state has a different limit, blow under the limit and you’re free to pass GO and collect $200

There are a few other tests, but those are pretty surefire.

How to NOT prove you’re sober, if you’re suspected to be DWI:

  • LICK the counter of the prison where you’re being booked at. You know, the counter that’s come into contact with other people’s bodies including hands and feet, and other people’s bodily excrements when they’ve voided themselves because they were too intoxicated or high to remember doing it, and other people’s blood if they’d accrued an injury, and other people’s tears [that last one, I actually laughed at a kid. It was his first time and he cried. I laughed after we had left though], and where the prostitutes [male and female] have also been who could have um… nasty stuff on their hands from performing services. Nasty stuff that could contain STD’s. Yea, that counter.

Yes. They clean the counter, but all those bacterial killing cleaners only kill 93-99% of the germs all the time.

Mister almost puked all over said counter when that kid licked it to prove he was sober. He was still booked and thrown in the ‘drunk tank’

So lets review shall we? SFSTs and breathalyzer tests – YES. Licking the counter – NO.

The best thing to do? If you drink, don’t drive 🙂

This PSA was brought to you by the letter D and the number 7

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