Shame

I missed the Writer’s Workshop this week, but unfortunately school takes precedence. After school is sleep and I was really needing some of that this week so my little internets world has taken a hit. Here is what I had planned on doing though

Show us something you’ve created for Halloween, anything qualifies…costumes, recipes, crafts, party invites, treats, decorations etc..

Y’all, I went straight up Martha Stewart for Halloween this year [Okay, so maybe a dinky house and FLIPPING AWESOME PUMPKINS doesn’t count to throw the Queen of Crafts off her throne, but for me its pretty crafty]

Take a looksee at what I’ve done

do you see that spider web roof? I did that! So it isn’t technically perfect, DON’T RAIN ON MY PARADE!!! Also, the sidewalk is a yellow brick road reference. I know, it looks more like crap nothing on a glob of yellow paint, but I’ve never claimed to be an artist so it’ll have to suffice. Besides the Mister is just interested in eating it so looks don’t really matter.

Next are the pumpkins which are near and dear to my heart.

Well, pumpkins aren’t completely near and dear to my heart. I wish pumpkins were genetically modified to come already hollowed out. The guts of a pumpkin gross me out and always smell terrible.

I have texture issues with it because its stringy, but slimy, but smelly, but orangey, but gourdy, and if you dig too deep, you get stuff stuck under your nails.

Mister started working on his ASAP

and watching him carve with those little tools is like watching a gorilla try to push a straw in a kool-aid pouch.

can you tell who his favorite cartoon character EVER is? By favorite I mean we still watch every episode that is playing, even if he knows every.single.line. and ruins the rest of it by saying who the bad guy is

Remember how excited he was? He got a little too antsy and Scoobs lost an eye

NOW FOR THE GREATEST PUMPKINS EVER ALIVE… er, dead? carved? Whatever, they’re just the best.

The first one I did was I think the easiest pumpkin I’ve ever carved in my life. Seriously. DON’T LAUGH AT MY CHOICE IN DESIGN

Don’t.

Do.

It.

Seriously.

Laugh and taunt me all.you.want. You know you want some pumpkin pi now 😉

The second pumpkin I did is going to be an annual tradition. I don’t know how long it’ll be a tradition though because it takes 4 hours of my time to do it. Not.even.kidding.you. I may be able to pause 4 hours of my life to create a pumpkin masterpeice now, but who know 5 or 10 years from now.

Here it is, kind of step by step

In my mind and house, the holidays aren’t holiday-ee if Peanuts aren’t involved. Halloween ain’t any different.

The outline itself isn’t completely carved out of the pumpkin, only the outside is taken off so the inside will glow. To do this, I traced the entire outline by poking tiny holes with a needle. A sewing needle. OMG it took some time and patience and that was only the beginning. [1 hour into carving]

Because of the extensive detail, the regular ol’ utensils were useless. I had to use a kitchen knife. Yes thats how I held it. No it didn’t cut me. Yes that knife is ridiculously dull, but not dull enough to not help out with the pumpkin. After a while though, a girl does need some padding to keep the uncomfortableness to a minimum. I don’t know if its because I’m a southpaw and hold things differently than righties or what. Bandaids sufficed.

Two and a half hours into it, I’ve got the outline carved for Charlie and his pumpkin.

Finally finished! and drumroll please…


the finished glowing product!

Pretty amazing huh? I love it and hope that one year the Great Pumpkin will love it enough too and comes to visit ME on Halloween and brings me presents for the best pumpkin 🙂

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The most awkward place for a band-aid

between two fingers.

The reason? Eczema, a.k.a. “make me look like a crazed leper disease”

The medicine I have to get rid of it with is major sticky, so I only use it at night. Sometimes I.can’t.stand.the.itchiness. So I end up having to do this.
The worst case I ever had was actually a 2for. 1) a huge patch on my writing hand so all moisture was sucked out of my hand like one of those sucker fish on the side of a fish tank

What’s worse than that you ask? How about my entire forhead, my senior year of high school, while I’m a cheerleader. Yea. I wanted to peel off my entire face or wear a bag over my head until I died.

Let us not dwell on the negative though or at least the negative about me . I’ve been playing with my new camera since day one. I don’t have a lot of models for me though, so the kiddos Maggie and Pudgy have been the principal targets. Maggie has never been a fan of the camera. This new one isn’t any different.

and ultimately ended up showing me exactly how she felt about me being all up in her bid-ness

The Pud-man on the other hand is usually a ham in front of the camera. I’ve started annoying him a bit too.

He’s still as curious as ever though, and his curiosity got the better of him after a while

Why just tonight, he supervised the re-design of the blog. [WHY AM I SO WEIRD ABOUT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE? DIDN’T I JUST CHANGE IT???]

Writer’s Workshop: A time you feared for the safety of a loved one

I stared at the list of “what to write” for.ev.er. this week. I guess I’m just a boring person because I can’t think of a single thing to write. I was thisclose to making a Stick Figure post about wardrobe malfunctions being my middle name in a cheerleading uniform, because between tumbling and stunts, my skirt was up at my hips almost all.the.time. No I was not a hoe, those things just rise. Thank the Lord Sweet Baby Jesus we had bloomers. The fans in the stands saw those more than my actual uniform, but I digress, that isn’t really a malfunction, huh? Next in line was a recent malfunction… entirely too recent for you good folks

P.S. San Antionio, you’re still welcome.

I was never labeled anything as a child because I am the ultimate charmer and didn’t meet my arch-enemy until I was a senior in high school. I’ve never fought for things I’m not continuously passionate for, I’m not about to update my About Me, because honestly? I like to stay mysterious.

I was tempted to not blog at all, and just skip it to next week, but as I thought, this title fit perfectly. I warn you now, this is not a funny post at all so if you’re looking for humor, come back next time.

On to the topic: A Time You Feared for the Safety of A Loved One

The Husband and I had been dating since we were wee young ones as seniors in high school [actually it ties into my arch-enemy, but I won’t get into that]. A year and a half after we gradjucated he had already come and gone through basic training and AIT through the Army [Guard] and we were smashed in the face with reality. He had been called to go to Afghanistan.

Fast forward [for your sake] we were some months into his year long deployment and I had gotten settled with getting letters every two weeks and a phone call every Sunday. I understood that he wouldn’t get the chance to do those things when he was in the field or whatnot, but so far, I at least heard from him every two weeks. During this time in the war, the news only covered gunfights in Iraq or Afghanistan, so when I was trying to get my mind off the fact that I hadn’t heard from my then fiance in over a month, all I saw and heard about on TV were gunshots and wounded or killed soldiers. My future father in law and I were headed back to town from the next over and suddenly his phone rang! He pulled over [70-park in 2.3 seconds I swear] immediately so we wouldn’t lose him in the hill country. They talked to each other for a while, while my heart pounded from relief and excitement. After 10-15 minutes, he handed the phone over to me. We talked, about nothing special, day to day tasks and what have you when suddenly I hear guns in the background. SERIOUSLY. GUNS. Husband said “Oh, its just the locals shooting at each other, its fine.” Its fine? ITS FINE? At 20 “its fine” was not an acceptable answer with everything I had seen on the TV. Then he said “Well, I better go so we can end this soon” as I could hear the shots get closer and closer.

I fell to the ground and sobbed. On the highway. In the middle of the hill country. Not one of my prettier moments let me tell you.

Luckily, the Mister got the hint and called me the next day to let me know he was alright and everything was ok. He now knows not to inform me of events like that until AFTER he’s out of it and safe.

Totally.Freaked.Out.

Y’all know I can be quite the drama queen. In fact, there are times when I could be Drama Queen, queen of all of Drama Land

This post is no different, but I feel like I have a right to be this overly dramatic. Take a seat and turn the light on. Maybe find your security blanket or animal as well. You may need it.
I was happily driving down the road coming home from school the other day jamming out to Kidd Kraddick in the Morning. [PS, you’re welcome for the free plug]

Kelly Raspberry was reading off the list of Top 13 Scariest Movies voted by listeners. At the beginning, I was talking to myself [Yes I talk to myself, NO not in the creepy way] and adding my own personal imput on the different movies, “Ooh yea, thats a totally scary movie,” or “Ugh seriously, NOT scary and I don’t understand why people are afraid of clowns in real life because of it.”

My own personal commentation ended ABRUPTLY AS HELL and I almost wet myself when they got to #4 and I cowered in my vehicle.

The Strangers

Y’all I teared up just finding that picture. THIS MOVIE IS THE MOST TERRIFYING MOVIE I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. OMG FOR REALZ

Before they had mentioned that movie that was created in the bowels of hell I had completely erased it from my memory. Now?

IT’S ALL I THINK ABOUT

Of course I think you should all watch it, so you can feel the fear that I feel, but I wish I had just never seen it to begin with. The rest of that day, not even Calculus could clear my mind. Then… THEN

Today comes along. Mr Husband is gone, working [during the day], and someone.knocks.on.the.door. I ALMOST PEED A LITTLE. AGAIN. I slowly looked through the eye-looker thingy and should have sighed when I saw a fellow officer we were expecting to come over a little later. For real though, I was thisclose to running to get the shotgun from my room I was that.scared. of seeing someone using a potato bag to cover their face.

Before, I was looking forward to Halloween and eating all the leftover candyNow? I’m terrified of the night and a growing waistline. Good thing Husband doesn’t work that night and will be home with me to answer the knocks on the door.

Stay tuned though, we’ll be carving our pumpkins next week and I have been preparing for this day since November 1st of last year. Its going to be epic.

In the spirit of me needing to price adult diapers to make sure my pants stay dry, what movie do you rank as the scariest? Let me know!

Writer’s Workshop: A Photo that Represents Me

I stole got this idea from Ms Jess over at Taking it One Step at a Time who got this from Mama Kat [click this button to get there]

Out of all the choices to choose from, I thought the photo would be the easiest. My babysitting stories are dull and lifeless, I wish my mother would read my blog, I don’t have any appropriate dreams I wish were reality, and being the lame kid in town, I never pulled any Halloween pranks.
I know what y’all are all expecting for my picture too. YOU’RE THINKING THIS AREN’T YOU

YOU’RE SNICKERING AREN’T YOU?!?! Well so be it, because for cereal, I want this in poster size. Its my new “thing” I lurve it as much as my Albie picture

Just look at how happy he is, solving math is a total high 🙂 It [math and this picture] makes me smile

BUT NO!

Stop making me lose focus with your glittery calculators and bedazzled calculus books

Here is what I think represents me better

OMG I AM NOT TRYING TO SAY I HAVE A MENTAL DISEASE
I’m trying to say I represent a lot of things. I am
  • a wife [civilian, military and cop]
  • a proud Texan and South Paw
  • ridiculously and unnecessarily happy almost all.the.time. You don’t want to know me if I’m hyper or more energized than usual. Its dangerous.
  • a severe shoe addict
  • a NERD!!! [like you weren’t expecting it] 🙂
There are thousands more that I represent, some only temporarily, some come and go, some last forever, but I don’t want to bore you or cause you to freak out and quietly think to yourself ‘OMG girlfriend is seriously missing a few marbles. There really is something wrong with her ::deletes her from my following list and calls psych ward on her::

Now that you all know a little more about me [whether you wanted to or not] I encourage you all to mosey on over to Mama Kat’s and join in on the Writer’s Workshop as well

Until next time

Don’t be a square, ’cause the world is round! [Makes no sense, huh? I still like it]

You’re Welcome San Antonio

I had the most AMAZING opportunity to head to Ol’ San Antone to meet an AWESOME person who we’ll name Marcie after one of my fav cartoons Peanuts

Giselle and I went down there to see her and it couldn’t have been a better time. We didn’t stalk any random strangers like last time, but we did harass a waiter which was just as hysterical. Dear Josh, we appreciate your patience with us, your experience is proof as to why we should never be allowed in public together.

Let me try to explain from the somewhat beginning. G and I came dressed to the nines in the southern way complete with curls, dresses and boots. In the city, they have vents on the sidewalks for whatever reason and we purposly detoured around them originally because we knew what would happen to a dress over a vent thanks to the ever loved and missed and the only woman I’d ever feel competition against with the husband.

Look at her! And she was a size NINE folks! NINE! Not the square root of -2,736 like most beautiful girls today!

Carrying on! We took a boat ride on the river which was all kinds of excitement ::rolls eyes::

The guide had an annoying tone, and kept going on about flood gates which ALL TOURISTS are interested in I’m sure. We tried to talk on the ride, but two old folks called us “Girls” and asked to be quiet so they could hear the woman.

Somone was listening to her? For cereal? Yes. And they took random pictures of whatever the woman talked about. Flood gates? Got pictures of them. A random tree? Got pictures of it. Had to take a bathroom brake? Got pictures of the turd.

After the titillating experience of the boat ride, G and I took Marcie to eat steak, because all good people eat steak [good steak] in Texas. We just do. So we took her to eat and met HER SOULMATE, our waiter Josh or Jeff?. He got to know all of us by what we ate, but he learned about Marcie especially. If he had lit the candle [like M had asked!!!] I really think fireworks would have flown. He tried to liquor us up and get us dessert too, but we had to decline. Honestly, it was because the candle wasn’t lit. When we got the check, Giselle LOVED the pen, so she switched it for one she had and thanked him for the pen on the receipt. Marcie drew a candle to remind poor Josh of what might have been. I didn’t have anything else to give but a red kiss 😉

It really got good back at M’s room. Take a look

Like all Klassy women in Texas, we flashed the town from the 25th floor of the hotel, and didn’t actually lift our dresses to show our “Britney Spears” or “Paris Hilton’s” or “Peter Griffin’s”

Let us all collectively say “EWWWWW” for a minute.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

After we were done NOT giving the town an eyeful, we all got into bed together like any good women do.

We left Marcie that evening so she could get ready to kick they next day’s ass with her gay lover Jeff or Josh? and started our way back to our own hotel. One thing I have ALWAYS loved about this city is its emphasis on walking around downtown. I parked when we first got to the hotel, and didn’t drive again until we left. I love it. I love to be within walking distance of things instead of driving all of the time. LOVE.IT. Anywho, we began walking back to our hotel, minding our own hilarious beeswax when yours truley became cocky and decided to show dominance over a street vent. Can you guess what happened? CAN YOU GUESS?


I flashed a guy who just knew was going to happen and waited patiently. OMG.FOR.CEREAL. We both got a good laugh out of my misfortune and while we were still walking guess what happened to Giselle. GUESS!!!

OHH.EMM.GEE.FOR.CEREAL. Both with our large amounts of Klass and ability to learn from our mistakes flashed folks in San Antonio. YOU’RE WELCOME EVERYBODY!

Thankfully, after those two incidents, we managed a less exciting night and trip home the next day, but OMG showing the bits was more than enough for the both of us.

Are you tired of seeing Marilyn’s box, because I’m tired of posting it, and honestly? I hope I actually learn from our mistake MISTAKES and not repeat again.

I would, however, LOVE to repeat our visit with Marcie again. Dear Marcie, we need you here. Josh is crying and lighting all candles he can find. Please move here. The weather’s nice and so are we. You can sleep in my bed with me.

Love,

Boop

Lookie what I just ordered

Stats & Info

I already have the standard lens it comes with [I keep wanted to spell it lense by the way, sorry May!!!] so I just bought the body and get a telephoto lens for Christmas!!!

I’m so excited! It should be here in 5-7 days!!!

I have a fun San Antonio trip to share as well, but I want to chill and veg in front of the TV tonight.