This entire weekend has been an epic grammar FAIL. I know and understand that I am not an English Major but really guys? By the end of the night, co-conspirer at work was laughing at me while I tried to
stab the pointy end of the counter into my frontal lobe for a labotomy still be positive that not all of the human race is really this stupid.
Do you remember this character? It is I.R. Baboon (His buddy was I. M. Weasel. I.R. was obviously the grammatically incorrect character) from the highly acclaimed show Cow and Chicken on Cartoon Network back in the mid ’90s.
Moving on from the impromtu recap of my teen life in front of a television. I.R. is about as smart as the next two people I encountered today alone. My previous stories are forever lost in the whirlwind of mental post-it notes lost in my mind.
The first adventure involves a person who is between the ages of 15-19. Co-conspirer and I disagree on her age and both SWEAR we can read people and can tell their age
she’s wrong, I’m right. She had dropped a piece of candy on the ground and handed to me saying “Can you throw this away, it FALLED on the ground. I’m sorry, what did you just say? Did you drop out in 1st grade and never go back? You have GOT to be kidding me. KIDDING. ME. ::deep breath::
Ok, our next not so young person was in the midst of a captivating speech about the difference between Sixlets and M&Ms ::cough cough Sixlets are better no contest cough cough:: She was describing the shape of the two different candies as such “Sixlets are round while M&Ms are OVULAR”
Um ma’am I’m pretty sure ovular is not the word you’re looking for. Try oh I don’t know, elliptical. [Does that sounds weird to anyone else? It really does to me, but it HAS to be better than ovular right? Right]
The funniest of all stupidity that happened tonight however, didn’t involve any words or terrible grammar and actually happened to yours truly. We were
bombarded visited by a bunch of middle school/Freshman if they were lucky girls right when I was talking to co-conspirer about something. The minute they entered the store my mind went blank. I had gone so stupid, I don’t think I would have even been able to tell you my name.
According to co-con my eyes all of the sudden went from bright and full of energy to dark and full of nothingness. It felt kind of trippy, I’m not going to lie, the feeling blew.my.mind. It was like as soon as they entered the store, intelligence went out. NO I AM NOT KIDDING AND I’M NOT BEING DRAMATIC ABOUT IT. It was the topic of conversation for a good 30 min after the girls had left. I’ve never experienced nothing in my mind before, it was totally strange and of course co-con was in hysterics after seeing me in that manner since I enjoy spouting off fun facts of the day all.the.time.
With these most recent events as well as all of the stories the Mister shares with me, my faith in humanity has plummetted almost as quick as cake going down Kirsty Alley’s throat.
Was that wrong of me? Oops 🙂