Change of Plans

My post tonight was originally going to be about my [successful] attempt at making homemade spaghetti sauce from scratch. In a recent change of evens though, we’re going to go where no normal non-geek has gone before.

GOOGLE EARTH HAS TAKEN MY HEAD AND HAS PLAYED HACKY SACK WITH IT UNTIL IT TURNED TO MUSH AND EXPANDED IT BY A TRILLION ::cough cough kind of like Obama has done with US debt cough cough::

After hearing the news of the earthquake in Chile, I decided to take a look at where exactly it took place on Google Earth [I blame this new hobby on the geology teacher. This stuff is kind of cool though.] I’ve been getting a feel for the program for a few weeks now and just recently took a trip to Mars and the Moon on it, but hadn’t ever looked at the sky function; until tonight. Did you know you can find out the location of every planet in the solar system? OMG YOU CAN!!! Ridonk exciting FO’ REALZ

It brings on a whole new world of planetary stalking I never thought I’d be able to do [pun intended]! Sleep with one eye open Venus, I’m watching you! Also, I have mad love for them because they still have Pluto included 🙂 I love Pluto and it will forever be a planet in my heart.

I’m sure I should write more, but I still have math homework to do and sleep. Sleep and I are trying to get acquainted, so far it isn’t a good relationship.

P.S. ANOTHER AWKWARD CONVERSATION ONLINE THAT I DON’T WANT TO BE A PART OF. ITS A CONSPIRACY I TELL YOU!!!

My faith in the intelligence of humanity is lost

This entire weekend has been an epic grammar FAIL. I know and understand that I am not an English Major but really guys? By the end of the night, co-conspirer at work was laughing at me while I tried to stab the pointy end of the counter into my frontal lobe for a labotomy still be positive that not all of the human race is really this stupid.

Do you remember this character? It is I.R. Baboon (His buddy was I. M. Weasel. I.R. was obviously the grammatically incorrect character) from the highly acclaimed show Cow and Chicken on Cartoon Network back in the mid ’90s.

Moving on from the impromtu recap of my teen life in front of a television. I.R. is about as smart as the next two people I encountered today alone. My previous stories are forever lost in the whirlwind of mental post-it notes lost in my mind.

The first adventure involves a person who is between the ages of 15-19. Co-conspirer and I disagree on her age and both SWEAR we can read people and can tell their age she’s wrong, I’m right. She had dropped a piece of candy on the ground and handed to me saying “Can you throw this away, it FALLED on the ground. o_O I’m sorry, what did you just say? Did you drop out in 1st grade and never go back? You have GOT to be kidding me. KIDDING. ME. ::deep breath::

Ok, our next not so young person was in the midst of a captivating speech about the difference between Sixlets and M&Ms ::cough cough Sixlets are better no contest cough cough:: She was describing the shape of the two different candies as such “Sixlets are round while M&Ms are OVULAR

Um ma’am I’m pretty sure ovular is not the word you’re looking for. Try oh I don’t know, elliptical. [Does that sounds weird to anyone else? It really does to me, but it HAS to be better than ovular right? Right]
The funniest of all stupidity that happened tonight however, didn’t involve any words or terrible grammar and actually happened to yours truly. We were bombarded visited by a bunch of middle school/Freshman if they were lucky girls right when I was talking to co-conspirer about something. The minute they entered the store my mind went blank. I had gone so stupid, I don’t think I would have even been able to tell you my name.

According to co-con my eyes all of the sudden went from bright and full of energy to dark and full of nothingness. It felt kind of trippy, I’m not going to lie, the feeling blew.my.mind. It was like as soon as they entered the store, intelligence went out. NO I AM NOT KIDDING AND I’M NOT BEING DRAMATIC ABOUT IT. It was the topic of conversation for a good 30 min after the girls had left. I’ve never experienced nothing in my mind before, it was totally strange and of course co-con was in hysterics after seeing me in that manner since I enjoy spouting off fun facts of the day all.the.time.
With these most recent events as well as all of the stories the Mister shares with me, my faith in humanity has plummetted almost as quick as cake going down Kirsty Alley’s throat.

Was that wrong of me? Oops 🙂

Procrastination? Check

Its a Friday night, I’ve had an entire bottle of wine (with no effects) and I’m trying my hardest to procrastinate on my take-home test from Geology.

I’m currently chatting on MySpace with a guy I haven’t talked to since high school. I really don’t have anything to say, but he initiated the convo so I’m trying to be polite [as well as continue in my mission of procrastination]. Its a whole new way of awkward converstation with old acquaintances you never intended to “catch up” with.

Ok, maybe it isn’t that awkward, but you know what I mean. Somewhat on the same note, I was doing the math the other day [surprise surprise] and discovered my 10 year reunion will be in T minus THREE YEARS. WHERE HAS ALL THE TIME GONE???

Not to mention, on the Mister’s birthday he mentioned being “halfway to 50”. HOLY CRAP. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m really 17 and I’m being punk’d by Ashton. As soon as he pops out of wherever he’s hiding, I’m punching him right in the throat. DO YOU HEAR THAT ASHTON? YOU BETTER BE SHAKING IN YOUR HI-TOPS.

OH and boy do I have a serious math confession for you all.

Are you ready for this? Take a deep breath, you’ll never believe it.

I hate graphing

For serious cereal graphing is the worst thing ever known to mankind. EVER.

I guess I’m being a bit dramatic hasty. If all I have to do is input an algorithm on my graphing calculator, then I’m kosher with it. Easy peasy. Its when I have to actually draw out the graph, plot points and draw lines that kill me. I’ve never been able to draw a perfect circle. With points plotted, my circle becomes even less round. We’re beginning graphing trig functions on Monday. Kill.Me.Now. Just stick a mechanical pencil in my ear and hammer it into my brain. And for all of you out there who just want to blame it on laziness. I AM THE LAST PERSON IN THE WORLD OF MATH THAT WOULD BE CONSIDERED LAZY. I work out every small thing on every new line. Its my “thing”. Its how I roll. Don’t ever insult me by telling me my math is lazy, YOUR FACE IS LAZY. ::Deep breaths:: sorry, just don’t mess with me and my math, just sayin’.

I have so much more to update you on, but for the life of me I can’t remember a bit of it. I need to start taking notes when I think of things because obviously my mental post-it notes are failing me epically.

WORD.

Where’s the Love?

First and foremost

http://www.youtube.com/get_player

YOU’RE WELCOME

Valentine’s day is coming and I think this holiday is even worse than all other holidays put together with cheesy crap you can buy for people. Case in point:

Papa John’s has a special going on right now that they’ll make you a heart pizza! Its only available for 4 days so get yours now! What better way to spend a romantic evening with your loved one than eating heartburn inducing grease on crust?

I do have to warn you though, being the minion I am because I love pretty hearts, I demanded we get one earlier this week, and apparently the good folks at the Papa John’s here in town are far from artists. I’m not hating on them though, they never claimed to be Picaso.

Moving on with our love disasters, have you seen the commercials for the pajama grams? I can kind of see that being a big hit with some, but one in particular makes me laugh hysterically until I cry go into a full on seizure from laughing so hard. Why its the old fashioned “hoodie footie”!

they ease your worries about whether or not its the right gift by saying “Its like a hug from you that she can wear!” I don’t know about you ladies, but I’ve always wanted to wear a hot pink velour enclosed hot dog casing of death hug, and now I can!

Don’t worry though, for men you can give them this so its your own personal wearable hug! I bet he’d be so excited, he’d be speechless!

TIME OUT. Look at how overly excited they are about these stupid things!

Who knew you could be a superhero and play hopscotch all while wearing a hug! My oh my technology sure has advanced.

In the good faith of the holiday and I’m still trying to suck up I made the officers cookies for V-day. They aren’t your average cookies though. It took three colors

And a lot of hands on rolling, but I made some badass cookies if I do say so myself.

And being the terrible wife I am, I am dragging the Mister to see that Valentine’s day movie with all those celebrities on Sunday. I usually don’t take him to see cheesy chick flicks with me, but this one I don’t think will be on video later so he’s kind of screwed.

Caio for now! [<– it rhymes]

The Husband and I Have Separated

Put down the paper bag!

Its true we’ve separated, but we’ve only separated in the subject of math. I can’t in good concience teach him incorrect ways to figure out problems just because it is easier for him, and he apparently doesn’t care how incorrect his ways are as long as its fast, easy and gets the correct answer. I brought up the separation and Giselle has backed me up and fully supported my decision. I understand that its hard work to get through problems some time, but I’d rather take the time and do it right the first time because when it comes to a math problem, you have to start all over if you’re wrong.