Wanted: Translator

I knew BritLit was going to be hard when I first signed up for it, however I didn’t know I’d need to hire on a translator just to understand what I was reading.

Whan that April with his showres soote
the droughte of March hath perced to the roote,
and bathed every veine in swich licour,
of which vertu engendred is the flowr;
what Zephyrus eek with his sweete breeth
inspired hath in every holt and heeth
the tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne
hath in the Ram his halve cours yronne,
and smale fowles maken melodye
that sleepen al the night with open ye–
so priketh hem Nature in hir corages–
than longen folk to goon on pilgrimages,
and palmeres for to seeken straunge strondes
to ferne halwes, couthe in sondry londes;
and specially from every shires ende
of Engelond to Canterbury they wende,
the holy blisful martyr for to seeke
that hem hath holpen whan that they were seke.

… O_O I’m sorry, WHAT did you just call me? That ladies and gentlemen is the first paragraph of the Canturbury Tales by Mr. Geoffrey Chaucer and the entire thing looks just.like.that. Its like text messaging on heroin or Mandarin Chinese. I totally bombed my quiz on it too. The only question I got right was Chaucer’s first name. I was completely wrong on all accounts with anything that had to do with the story itself. Also, did you know it rhymed? I had no clue until the teacher started reading parts and said the tale would be easier to grasp if you weren’t just reading it per lines to make it rhyme. Again, I had no clue. Thankfully I saw a shred of light at the end of the tunnel when he said this would be the hardest we’d have to read. Until then, I am looking to employ a translator to explain this alien transcript story to me. Let me know if you’re interested.

Oh, and P.S. I am STILL giddy about my ringtone discovery. No matter how I do in class, I still believe I am awesome x1000

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