Shark Week

Shark Week starts next week y’all

The week after that is the beginning of my adventure into the crazy world of student teaching. I can’t help but think that Shark Week was cleverly decided to air the week before my be debut as a teacher instead of a student as some form of real-life foreshadowing. We’ll have to see if I end up being the shark, or the wounded seal trying to stay afloat and get away from the big bad scary “OMG Why did I choose this for a career for the rest of my life” shark.

It’s hot

We all know that summertime in Texas is ridiculously hot. Also, we all know that a car sitting under the hot ball of gas that is our sun in ridiculously hot summertime is hot.

I’d seen this stunt happen last year during the heatwave, but there was some strange caveat that I honestly don’t even remember, that didn’t make it completely legit. I wanted to try it, and since my cookie recipe makes 54 cookies per batch, I had extra dough hanging out in the freezer waiting to be baked and delicious.

FYI, these suckers were completely frozen when I put them on the sheet. I only made a dozen because in case this crazy idea didn’t work, I didn’t want to ruin too many cookies.

I knew it’d take longer than the usual baking time. The one from last year left it in the car from 8-5 during their workday. I checked periodically about every 45 min to an hour, and I think the finishing time was around 5 hours long.

Thankfully this was the view from my driveway. I figured the best place to do it was at my own home so passersby didn’t think I was some nut who had absentmindedly remembered to bring the cookies, but leave my coffee in the oven. Nevermind that crack, that would be from the other extreme we get here [ice storms].

When the time came, they didn’t look finished to me because they’re usually larger. Then I reminded myself that I usually don’t bake cookies in my car.

I have to admit, they’re pretty tasty car cookies

It’s pretty awesome. I wasn’t expecting it to work but it did.

Now here’s my minor soapbox that I want to add to this:

We all know how hot an oven can get right? Right. I realize it took longer than the usual 30 minutes to bake those cookies, but my car still did it. If it can bake a cookie, do NOT leave unattended children in it. That means do not leave them in ovens and by all means in the ENTIRE WORLD do not leave your child in a car, no matter how “quick” you’re going to be. Every second counts, please be responsible. Leave pastries in there, not kiddos.

From old to new

For those that have seen me about a year ago and nowadays I’ve [hopefully] visually have lost weight. Well, I have. I’ve lost enough to drop down a few dress sizes. Yippee, right? Right… but it also means I’ve had to spend more than wanted on new clothes multiple times to keep up with the loss.

I still have quite a few shirts I totally love, but engulf me, and after perusing Pinterest, got a few ideas to make what was old new again.

First up I made some shirts into workout tanks. Living in the Lone Star state, it is insanely hot a majority of the year [the high tomorrow is triple digits]. Now with my newly redone shirts I can shout to them in neon animal print that I’ve been to South Padre. They’ll be elated I’m sure. Especially since I have awesome matching neon Snoopy socks because who better to be on your run with you than Snoopy? No one, that’s who.

Another shirt I had I still wanted to be able to wear casually throughout the day without looking like I perpetually workout in running shorts, a tank, and an awesome messy ponytail complete with headband. I followed this tutorial and ended up with this. Not completely perfect, but I was afraid of making it tighter that it wouldn’t fit [previous bigger girl problem]. I still love it though, and plan to wear it with pride.

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So follow those links and make some shirts new again. I promise if I am able to succeed and not completely maim my shirts, couches and animals, you won’t either!

I’ve broken in to the pickle making business

Okay, maybe not.Maybethis is my first batch of pickles ever, but I count that as a success for the plain and simple fact that I’ve kept these plants growing and alive, and they’ve grown what and how they are supposed to. Poor Mrs. Angie, she’s been having to put up with my countless nonsensical questions about cucumbers, growing, picking and pickling since day one. She’s answered every question in stride, even if they sounded completely inappropriate. She gave me her recipe for her pickles, and I know they’re going to be tasty, because well, she made like eleventy billion jars just this past month of her own pickles. She also made them last year too, so this ain’t her first time around a pickle.

I filled the jars without a problem, because well, filling jars isn’t that bog of a deal. Next was the hard part.

I had to seal my jars. I had NEVER done such a thing, and honestly, had no idea what I was doing. Problem number one: I didn’t have a pot big enough that would, when filled, cover over the jars. Solution? Buy a bigger pot. It wasn’t just any pot, it was a crawfish/turkey frying pot. It’ll be used for other things, no worries. Problem number two: I didn’t really know how the whole sealing process was going to work. I had my jars in the pot of water, that never actually came to a rolling boil because there was too much water. I also didn’t really have it figured out how I was going to put these jars in and take them out of the boiling hot water. I had tongs, but they ended up not working out. Solution: Silicone oven gloves. They’re waterproof and can handle the heat. Checkmate.

I wasn’t sure about the whole “popping” thing a jar does when it seals. Was it going to be obvious? Was it going to be quick? Was it going to sound like a pistol just went off in my house? I had no idea. I also had no idea [and not all the faith in myself] that I would successfully get the jars to seal. Then what? I had pulled the jars out of the pot, and only NONE had sealed. That’s right none. I thought I had completely ruined my first ever batch of pickles. Travesty.

Mrs. Ang told me to be patient though [me, patient? HA] So I put them in a dark place as directed, and hoped for the best. I checked and rechecked them. One had sealed. The other two still hadn’t by the time I went to bed. But like a kid on Christmas day I bounded from my bed the next morning and the other two had FINALLY SEALED!!! All three are now sealed and pickling. When I realized it was going to take a minimum of a month to pickle though, I thought I would die. So here I wait, the next pickle genius, and I don’t even get to taste my awesomeness for another 4 weeks. Sad times.

I’d only picked what I thought would be considered a few. A few. Turns out, I picked enough for three, and have at least another 2-3 coming up in the next few weeks. Pickle season… here I come :-)

Bacon

I may lose some of you over this, but I feel like it has to be said. People have taken bacon too far. That’s right, TOO FAR. Bacon has become the “popular kid” that people have rallied around. They mention it in the hopes of becoming cool themselves. The same goes for the moustache, but that’s on another day.

Bacon has gotten ridiculous. There’s bacon candles, bacon perfume, and bacon roses. Let’s be honest, if you’re trying to be sweet and romantic, and what that special someone really wants bacon, wasting time to roll it in a rose or heart is just unnecessary. They’ll die of a heart attack mid-bouqet anyways. Not to mention the constant push to outdo another with a bacon recipe. First it was the meat ship

Now there’s bacon turtles

Bacon cinnamon rolls

And bacon corn

Bacon toothpaste? Really, society?

Are we still curious as to why we’re the world’s fattest country? It reminds me of the craze that is the annual Texas State Fair. With the fair though it isn’t all about bacon, but instead, all about fried EVERYTHING. There’s a contest every year, really, about the best and most unusual fried things. We’ve had fried coke, fried snickers and twinkies, fried butter, fried beer, well here’s a good list of things:

2005 Most Creative         Viva Las Vegas Fried Ice   Cream

2005 Best Taste             Fried PB, Jelly and Banana   Sandwich

2006 Most Creative         Fried   Coke

2006 Best Taste             Fried Praline   Perfection

2007 Most Creative         Deep Fried   Latte   2007 Best Taste             Texas Fried Cookie   Dough

2008 Most Creative         Fried Banana   Split

2008 Best Taste             Chicken Fried   Bacon  <—– Again with the bacon?

2009 Most   Creative         Deep Fried Butter

2009 Best Taste               Fernie’s Deep Fried Peaches & Cream

2010 Most Creative         Fried Beer™

2010 Best Taste                  Texas Fried FRITOS® Pie

2011 Most Creative         Fried Bubblegum

2011 Best Taste                  Buffalo Chicken in a Flapjack

Fried things and bacon things MUST.STOP.NOW. The oversaturation of fried things and bacon’s rise in popularity has actually negatively affected my love for them, so for that I thank you. I would really *really* love to stop seeing bacon everywhere though. There’s no need for it to be in the periodic table [I must say though, for the most part I'm just jealous I can't spell my name, but my point is still valid] and there is especially no reason for it in suit form. Please, let go of the bacon, you’ll still be part of the cool kids club, and we’ll allow you to sit at our table during lunch.

This Pinterest board has a good bit of it covered as well

Props to Natalie Dee. She gets me. THANK YOU

Random

This gif makes me laugh so hard I cry. You’re welcome for the fabulousness I am about to bestow on your eyes

Pelvic thrusting cats. Amazing, huh?

In other random news…

I have

a serious

shoe problem

I also have a serious closet problem, because it isn’t housing all of my shoes from my afformentioned problem.

My most favorite tumblr right now is this one, and I plan on making Pancho BATDOG for Halloween.

That’s it for now.

ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE

Y’all, the apocalypse is coming and bath salts are likely the cause.

This and this both conclude that the world is beginning to go haywire. Add in Snookie’s spawn due on the Mayan apocalypse day, and you’ve got an apocalypse created for the world. Go big or go home, right? Well in the case of the endig of the world, home wouldn’t really help you either, but whatevs.

I don’t mind an apocalypse and all, I’m just kind of perturbed that the world will end when I finally finish school [which could be the actual reason the world is ending]. I mean, I’d like to at least get a paycheck or something finalizing my way into the adult world of a non-retail job full of resposibilities. On the bright side though, the world ending beforehand means less papers and tests to grade…

Prepare y’all, the world is getting inky out there.

My younger self would kill me

I was never big on name brand things when I was younger. In fact, I purposely stayed away from such things promising that I would never let myself get involved in such nonsense and spending so much money on something that only really promoted someone/something else. Those labels did nothing to help me, they only inflated egos of businesses and allowed them to continue to charge such outrageous prices for something that was actually worth much less than what was written on the price tag. I was a precocious little thing, huh?

Well, if my younger self could see me now, she’d knock me down and kick dirt on me. I’ve been sucked in. It started small with the delicious scents of Victoria’s Secret lotions, then grew to Jessica Simpson clothes and JS and Steve Madden Shoes. We already know I’m a sucker for shoes. Oh and my current bag I’m carrying all my May-mester stuff in. I curse JSimp on a monthly basis when I peruse her dresses and pumps. Girlfriend needs to stop stealing all my money. Then Vera Bradley came along. Oh Vera, you had me since the very beginning. The colors and patterns you have are gorgeous, and your bags were the first ones that could carry all my school crap without falling to pieces. Of course I needed one for each class; and then I needed a new pattern every season. Now, two years later, I have more bags than I’ll ever know what to do with to be honest. School is almost over though, and although I love your large Vera totes, they really aren’t what I want to carry around as a regular purse. My other purse was dying, and I needed to find an alternative.

I found that alternative. I fount it at Coach. I’ll admit, a few years ago I couldn’t STAND the large C’s all over EVERYTHING of theirs. Really, egotistical much? Here I stand, ashamed to say, my current bag has C’s on it. They’re pin-holed, so don’t stand out as much, but alas, I should be smacked. Then, I saw this beaut on my other addiction Pinterest

and I knew if I couldn’t have it, I needed something extremely similar. I also HAD.TO.HAVE. the bow. HAD.TO.

Enter the next bag I just got from the Factory On-Line Sale I couldn’t say no to.

All I need is the bow now. The one I wanted was sold out, but I’ll grab one next time I go up north to visit family and friends. My justification was I HAD.TO.HAVE. that bag I had seen. HAD.TO. Andplusalso, my current one is coral, and the good Lord knows that isn’t a color that will fly in the winter. What will I carry then? CALM DOWN, Y’ALL. I got this bag to take care of that first world problem.

What is even better [or worse whichever way you see it] is that I have a gift card to Coach that they wouldn’t let me use on my pretty up there. So? I have enough to get another one. OHEMGEE.

Dear younger self,

I am so sorry I have disappointed you with my weakness, but you’re in the past and I’m in the now so neener neener. Be jealous of my gorgeous things.

Sincerely,

Present self.

Making the Switch

Well, I’ve just about made the clean switch over from Blogger to WordPress.

I’ve been dabbling with the thought of switching for the past year, and I’ve finally done it. My current issue? Remembering my password [that I just created] so I can log in through my phone. D’oh!

I have to admit, this little beaut has been around for a few days now, but I couldn’t for the life of me, figure out the whole customization and theme thing. I was getting frustrated and about peace’d out of the joint when I finally got the hang of using this stuff.

Also? I was flagged as spam for a day. That was taken care of, but for realz? My blog looked like spam? Say wha’? I realize the amount of people who actually read this is between zero and one, but that isn’t because I’m spam, it’s because what I write about doesn’t actually appeal to anyone to read. Thanks for reminding me. Awesome first impression; “Hey! Welcome, but… you know no one reads this, right?”

Pleased to meet you WordPress, I’m EMP

Royal Pains

I know in the past I’ve blogged about working out, and this time being “the one”. The one time I was going to continue my regime and be successful. Every one of those times I failed. Honestly, I’d let myself fail, because let’s be real, working out sucks. I secretly started the C25K program again, I’ll admit, back in like January. I’m STILL not done yet, but I’m still working through it. That is the goal right? To keep going? I may not be 100% up to par yet, but I haven’t completely crossed it off my list due to weather, or school, or work, or terrible shin splints, or any other excuse. I’m still pushing through it.

It also helps that the pup runs with me sometimes. His stamina isn’t as good as mine though, and with the increasing heat, it’s gettig worse. Sometimes he runs with me, and drags me down; sometimes I run by myself, and can no longer use him as an excuse for my slow running time. I am making future goals and plans though to keep myself motivated. Starting with babysteps, I plan on signing up for the Color Run next year. It looks like a heck of a lot of fun, and I want to run the entire thing. Once I’m succesful with a 5k, I’m going to slowly work up. My ultimate goal is to run the princess half marathon at disney… dressed as a princess… because I’ve always wanted to be a princess :-P

One day, I’ll be a running one.